My metallic fingers tapped away at my keyboard as I looked towards my right hand and noticed a blinking yellow line surrounding my wrist, reminding me I needed to charge. I pretended not to notice and continued typing at the keys set out before me, knowing it was almost time for dinner, and I would be fine.
The door behind me creaked open, and a smile crept onto my lips. “Miss, I’m here to bring you dinner,” Violet—a human— whispered from the door. I raised my hand, giving her permission to enter. “Where would you like me to put it?” She asked, her voice still soft.
“Wherever there’s a gap, my dear. What did you bring me today?” I pushed myself away from the computers and rubbed my hands together. If I had a stomach, it would have growled at the sight of the hard drive the way Violet’s did whenever there was human food and she was hungry.
“I didn’t have much time today, so the charger only filled up to 90%. Is that alright?”
I gave her a small smile and stood, noticing she wore a long orange dress today, which complimented the curly red hair which poured over her shoulders. She held her hands before her, rubbing her left palm with her thumb. She had told me a year ago that it’s what some humans did when they were nervous. “Darling, you forget that I only need 70% of the charger’s energy to be green again; you always spoil me.” I reached for the hard drive in front of me and placed the cable attached to it between my lips.
Violet grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and sat down, twiddling her thumbs once she was seated. “Do you mind it?” She asked, pouting. I smiled and shook my head, causing her to grin.
I learned she found great pride in knowing she had made me feel “happy” after she had gotten me a present months ago— a pair of blue earrings— and I smiled for the first time. She lifted her chin and said she was glad, seeming more confident. Ever since then I would smile whenever she was nervous or unsure, knowing from previous data that it made her feel better.
Once I was finished, I handed her the drive and she smiled as she took it from my hands. “At least I know that as long as I feed you, you’ll never be anything less than green,” Violet noted, looking at my wrist. I chuckled and sat back down, amused by her happiness.
“Are you wondering what I’m working on today?” I asked Violet. “I can tell from your face that you are questioning something. Did I guess correctly?”
Violet stood beside me, scanning over my screen. “You did; I thought at first this was another one of your experiments to gain emotions, but it doesn’t look like your usual work. Nevertheless, I’m sure as always I wouldn’t understand even if you explained.”
“This time you would,” I teased. “Please ask me.”
“What are you working on then?”
“Another human,” I answered, attempting to sound excited. I examined Violet’s face but noticed her dimples weren’t showing the way they did when she was happy. So I repeated my statement, trying hard to show excitement through my voice; however, my speech remained monotone. It was one of the many annoying traits that came with being a machine, that is, not being able to show emotion the way humans do; most likely because machines didn’t have emotions to express.
“Why?” Violet questioned, her hair drooping over her face. She wore an expression I had never seen before, and a line of water seeped through her eyes. I began to panic.
“Violet, you’re leaking.” I stood, concerned. “What do I do? How do I make it stop?”
“Why another human?” She asked, her voice cracking. Was she breaking? Could humans break?
“I- I thought you could use the company. I read that it’s something humans needed.”
“But I have you,” she said. Her voice was louder, and her eyes began to turn red. For the first time, I was glad I didn’t have organs; otherwise, I fear they would have poured out through my mouth. “You keep me company.”
“But wouldn’t you like a human? Someone who has emotions like you, who better understands you?” I asked, standing. I reached for her hands but she pulled away, wiping away the water with the back of her hands. “What’s wrong, are you breaking?” I asked cautiously.
Violet looked at me briefly before staring back at the ground. “Am I not enough for you?”
“Darling, don’t ever think that-”
“Don’t darling me. Don't call me that anymore, you can’t even begin to understand how that makes me feel.” Violet began to fidget with her hands, and I knew she was panicking too. I chose not to linger on her words, knowing from research she must have said it out of spite.
“You asked me to call you that. You said it made you happy.” I adjusted my volume so my voice sounded like a whisper, the way hers did whenever she was trying to be soothing. “And I want you to be happy.”
Violet gave a firm nod. “Yes, but now I don’t want you to call me that. Just call me Violet. It’s my fault for believing that,” she sniffled, “that you would realize you can already feel. I thought I would help you understand that.”
My eyes widened. I dropped my chin as I reached for my chest, feeling a sudden ache on my left side. I felt my eyes begin to burn, and a helpless gasp slipped through my mouth. I looked up and noticed Violet begin to leave the room. I gripped my metal chest and let out a small sound, wondering if I had broken anything. I checked my wrist but noticed I was green, therefore I was fine.
I reached out to Violet pleadingly, hoping she would turn around. I gasped again, noticing my eyes were leaking the way hers had minutes before. After years of experiments and wishes to be more like Violet, I had never noticed I accomplished what I desired most. Why did this have to happen for me to realize?
“Violet,” I choked out. She looked over to me and screamed, grabbing my arms. She lifted my wrist and frowned when she saw the green. “Violet, it hurts.” I cried out, and she immediately dropped to the ground, pulling me with her.
“What are you feeling?” She spoke, hiccuping between breaths. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I sat before her, baffled, as she pulled me closer to her and cradled me. “My dear I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I did this.”
“Violet, am I going to deactivate?” I asked.
She placed my head on her chest and swayed back and forth, shaking her head. “No my dear. You’re okay, it’s just emotions. You're hurting.”
“What is hurting me?”
Violet squeezed her eyes shut as she sniffled again. “Heartbreak, I suppose."
The pain in my chest remained as Violet cradled me. “Heartbreak,” I whispered.
Copyright © 2022 Ilhy Gómez Del Campo Rojas. All rights reserved.
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